Clear Doorknob
You’ve been dating for awhile. Everything is going well. You enjoy each other’s company. You have a great time when you’re together. The sex is incredible!
You think he’s “The One”. You’ve found your soulmate and you’re ready to make a full commitment to the relationship. You think he feels the same way.
He tells you he loves you. You believe him. However, something is missing… His commitment to be exclusive to you is missing.
You don’t think he’s fooling around with other women. Yet, he never mentions anything about making you his “one and only”.
You’re afraid of bringing up the subject because you know from past experience, that men don’t seem to take kindly to you asking for or trying to convince him to make a commitment to you.
Men don’t want to feel pressured into making a commitment. Begging, pleading, demanding, even logical persuasion doesn’t work.
When a woman starts asking for a commitment first, it’s taken as a sign of neediness, clingyness, a ball and chain and his loss of freedom.
What’s a girl to do?
First off, you’re absolutely right. Men don’t like feeling pressured into making a commitment.
Generally, when a woman asks for a commitment first, the man gets nervous, withdraws and often the relationship dissolves soon afterward.
Don’t make that mistake!
Instead, what you want to do is make your man FEEL that he is better off with you, then without you.
Before you can make this happen successfully (and this is vitally important), you have to realize and understand something about men.
Men’s brains (or lack of) are hard-wired differently then a woman’s. Men think about commitment differently then women.
Here’s why.
Although women are very sexual creatures, it’s not in the same way that men are sexually driven.
A good looking woman can get a different man to have sex with her every night of the week, if that’s what she wanted.
However, in her mind (and in societies view), if she slept around with a lot of different men, she would be considered a slut.
Women who sleep around with a lot of different men are considered low-class, morally bankrupt and are called promiscuous, sluts, hoes or (slang) hiz-zoes, whores, bitches, etc.
You get the picture.
The running joke is…She’s like a doorknob – everyone gets a turn. It’s frowned upon and looked down upon by men and women alike.
So, although a good looking woman can “get laid” whenever she wants, and with whomever she wants, what she really wants is to be in a committed relationship with one man who is special to her.
Men on the other hand think differently about sex and commitment. Men are visual creatures and get turned-on just by looking at an attractive woman and men are ready to get physical immediately.
A man who sleeps around with a lot of different women is considered – a Romeo, a Casanova, a Player, a Mack, Alpha Male, a Stud. He’s looked up to and admired and high-fived by other men.
This is not fair but face it, that’s the way it is.
What most women fail to understand about men is that sexually, a man’s brain is hard-wired differently than a woman’s. A man sees a “hot” looking woman and is ready to “get busy” instantly.
Men want to be sleeping around with as many women as possible and so, they try to avoid making exclusive commitments.
Women DON’T want to be sleeping around with lots of men and want a monogamous, committed relationship.
Here’s the dilemma…
Men think sex and want sex everyday. They are turned-on automatically whenever they see an attractive woman. It’s a biological predisposition.
Women don’t work that way. Women have to be “in love” or feel some special emotional connection before they are willing to get sexual.
So if a man wants sex on a steady, regular basis, he has to settle down with one woman into some sort of loosely defined relationship.
However, the man’s desire to philander is always there. He still desires to have sex with many different women, but he doesn’t act on it. It’s against the rules. He exercises self-control.
You now have an understanding about why men ALWAYS have a wandering eye for an attractive women.
It’s in Men’s DNA – their biological programming.
Men want to have sex on a regular basis with different women. Women want sex with just one man in a committed relationship.
In order for you to get your man to commit to an exclusive relationship with you a couple things have to happen inside his male mind: You have to make sure that his desire to HAVE YOU is GREATER than his fear of commitment.
It needs to be clear to him that having you around is much, MUCH better than the alternative – possibly losing you to another man.
You have to make your man FEEL, on a physical, emotional and intellectual level, that he’s BETTER OFF being with YOU than any other woman he could possibly meet.
When this happens He will asking YOU to make the commitment.
Carl Willoughby has worked as a licensed Special Agent with The Prudential.
Sign up for his FREE program – Getting Your Man to Make a Commitment and Making Up with your Ex by visiting his website: http://www.RelationshipAdviceForMakingUp.com
1MC Podcast: The Proud
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